| Please read... |
[11 Mar 2006|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 Fuck that, bitch! |
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Future reference for evey one who reads:
I've had a VERY unwanted commeter recently. So, my journal from now on will probably be friends only... that is if I don't dump this name all together. If I do I will notify you all individually because I don't want that person even remotely thinking of me let alone reading my thoughts. See, people? This is exactly the reason for not saying what is upsetting me because I get people who I do not even remotely like... in fact I have some real problems with morally and personality wise... commenting on my journal. If she reads this she will probably know who she is and I would like her to know that she is unwelcome. The only reason this journal is public is because I have friends who read it who don't have el-jays. To say that I was angry when I read her comment didn't even come close to how I was feeling. As a matter of fact I can't even reply to what she said because I'm so angry.
There was one thing she said to me that really bothers me that I am going to address right here and right now, though. She said, "I respect you because I know Brittany cares about you." This makes me very angry because you should never respect someone because a person cares about them. You should respect someone because you feel thay have good qualities/ morals. I am thoroughlydisgusted that someone would respect me because they just happen to be friends with someone who I am, and not because of the kind of person I am. That is not in any way shape or form respect. I do not respect her in the slightest and I really wouldn't mind all that much if she didn't respect me.
I'm so angry I'm shaking right now. You know, it's really sad. Brittany had resolved this last night because she thought I was mad at her. I wasn't. On the other had I am mad at this person and I will probably stay that way for a very long time.
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[11 Mar 2006|02:06pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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Shit!! Someone was in under my user name last night and put me in safe mode... It had to be mom. I can't remember how to get it out... I can't get to any of my e-mail. this is the reason I am computer administrator. So shit like this doesn't happen!!
Ha! Some one set all of my parental controls to safe but then did it wrong so they ended up excluding most of my favorites... which explains why I could get on livejournal and not be able to check my e-mail. Stupid stupid stupid people did you think I wouldn't notice that?
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| Important read!! |
[11 Mar 2006|01:03am] |
I will repeat incase it was missed in my last entry just to be sure... NO BRITTANY FLAMING !!
That was how this whole thing got started and I don't want it continuing. I don't mind comments, but Brittany is not a bad person. I was angry at other people not her. UNDERSTAND THIS PLEASE!!
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| These are the replies to the comments the other people made. |
[11 Mar 2006|12:48am] |
I probably shouldn't post these seeing as they are causing a lot of drama already and I have only talked about them, but honestly... once again for me not you I don't make you read I very rarely ask you to read. There is a reason we all have our own journals. FOR.OURSEVLES.!!
This was in retort who said "I hate to say it kiddo, but you have pretty shitty friends"...
Reply to Moly.
I also hate to say it... well not really... but you show just what quality "friends" she really has. Even in saying that you, by default include yourself in that group. Lindsay has never been anything but there for Brittany. Brittany got worried and just jumped to conclusions without talking to Lindsay about this and it turned out to be a full-fledged lets attack lindsay feast and ended up upsetting her very much. You of all people have no right to judge her. No one does. What you said was hateful and rude. Grow the fuck up and get a life instead of living through others.
This is not a fight I just think everyone should get the whole story before sending out a personal attack on someone who doesn't even deserve it. An apology would have been nice after Brittany's reply that she didn't mean it in the way she said it and it was taken out of context. So please next time you reply lets refrain from the automatic... "burn, death, darkness for all," Okay?
This next one was for a whole volley of comments so I'll let you interpret.
Reply to Vanessa... not the one from my flist.
Lindsay never said she hated Julieanne. The only "negative feelings" she has are from a religious stand point. Seriously, people shouldn't attack people because they are religious. Just like you shouldn't attack someone for being black or gay. It's NOT right no matter WHO does it. NEVER. And as it goes... hate the sin not the sinner. You do not know the situation with Ryan, therefore you have no right to say anything. So please refrain from saying, "fucking Ryan guy." So rude. What Lindsay said was taken out of context and it actually shows that she truly cared. She worries about her best friend and that makes her a human being not a human punching bag. Some of you people really needed to think about how hurtful your comments really were before posting them.
This is not a fight I just think everyone should get the whole story before sending out a personal attack on someone who doesn't even deserve it. An apology would have been nice after Brittany's reply that she didn't mean it in the way she said it and it was taken out of context. So please next time you reply lets refrain from the automatic... "burn, death, darkness for all," Okay?
I thought my replies were completely justified and I still do. I stand by everything I said to these people. They were hateful and completely rude and should be treated as such. Later one of them made up a really piss poor excuse for what she said that made me, if possible, even more angry.
These feelings are not directed at Britt and once again I'm not angry at her...
I forgot to mention... NO BRITTANY FLAMING!! If you do I will be angry and you will be sorry. I am sorry I for got to include that in my last entry.
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| You ripped out my heart cast me asunder. Now I hate you. Can't take it no more. 'Cos I hate you. |
[10 Mar 2006|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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 Now's as good a time as any. |
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I really don't know which fact is more depressing. The fact that I'm at home on a friday night or the fact that I'm at home by choice. On the one hand I'm semi-alone, meaning dad is in on the couch and only comes in the bedroom a few times at random moments to make sure I'm not doing anything nefarious or deviant such as looking up porn on the internet. :P Honestly, if was going to do that I wouldn't do it if anyone was at home... I'm not an idiot like dumbass-derF. And I'm certainly not going to get caught doing it in school. lol. dumbass. Anyway back to moping... On the other hand I have no want to go out for several reasons. 1.) No one I really want to do it with... or who wants to go out with me atm. 2.) Mom offered and I declined. Reason? She's going to wal*mart. I wouldn't touch that with anything... you get all kinds of persons there. I've seen enough red-neck, drug addicted, welfare cashin', (yes I have issues with welfare so get over it), preppy-assed bitch, old lady, jail bait, assholes to last me a life time in that joint.So, yeah. No wal*mart. In stead I am sitting here in my self-inflicted isolation eating the last of my oreo ice cream ;-; (wish I had more) surfing the net and I'm totally, and completely, miserably lonesome. :/ And for some reason I just now realized I haven't signed on any of my messengers... I need someone to talk to... almost anyone will do... ummm... take that back... I kind of want new people too... I'm to lazy to go out and find some though. :(
So, anyway. I haven't written anything meaningful on here in a while... I think? Last weekend Britt and Linds had quite a bit of a row, which I was caught in the middle of. I wasn't mad at brittany per se, but I was very disappointed with her and the way she handled everything. I being the good friend to both of them that I am, *rolls eyes* talks to Linds (if you really want to read about it got to her journal lady_minority) and has her over at 1 in the morning because she's so angry, as am I. She is one had extremely blazing-ly angry at Brittany (I can understand why) and I on the other had want to eviscerate all of her LJ friends who said horrible stuff about Linds that were completely uncalled for and not instigated. In the end I did. I thoroughly told off a grand total of 2 people and was going to go on for a 3 and possibly 4th when Brittany deleted the entry. Not to happy about that. I wanted to say my peace and I didn't get to... it wasn't a problem when they were bitching about Lindsay, but the second I said something about what righteous bitches they were being I got censored... I sincerely hope they got my replies though because if they didn't I will be disappointed... I actually feel like posting them here, honestly. I was so angry. They had no right to say the things they did. And basically Brittany let them go on and on about it and didn't really try hard to stop it, but oh, boy when I let loose my amazingly sharp tongue did she put a stop to it real quick like... to tell the truth I'm still a little upset about that. It feels as though the people who she's never meet mean more to her then Lindsay or I do. We have known her ALL OF HER LIFE!! I am not talking about the people who commented with their concerns I'm talking about the people who completely flamed Lindsay. I hate you all. Fuck off and die. Also, I hope your death is slow and painful and you rot in hell for you horrible acts of blatant fucking attention whoring. Grow up. Get Lives. Stop living through others. Not my most articulate, but I think it gets the point across nicely, don't you? Enough said.
Britt and I cam to a truce on Tuesday. On Monday I bet Linds that she would avoid me all day and not come to our study hall. Linds said she wouldn't doubt it. Guess what? She didn't show up! What a surprise! *heavily laced with sarcasm* I love her, but sometimes I wish she would grow a set of balls. I wasn't overly mean to her. I simply chastised her and she wouldn't even look at me. On the other hand Lindsay totally flames her later and she goes to her study hall (no offense to you Linds). I just don't understand. Admittedly, I can be particularly scary when angry, but I thought Brittany would know me better and have a little more faith in me than that. I don't really know what hurts worse the fact that she did that to Linds, the fact that she didn't trust me or care enough about me to face me, or the fact that it could have just as easily been me hung out to dry like that. ;-;
On the over all Brittany and I have been getting along quite well, despite (I think). I know she talks behind my back quite a lot... and probably says somethings that aren't quite true and calls me somethings and accuses me of things that I might not know about and quite certainly am not. And I think that's what's been bothering me the most recently. She's said some pretty harsh things about me to other friends of mine and I will not say who (I don't even think she realizes I talk to some of these people). It really has been eating me alive, but now that I put it in here I feel quite a bit better now... I think. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do around her I'm always going to do/ say the wrong things no matter how hard I try. I'm a realist and I'm out spoken, I'm also a conservative republican, I'm also against gay marriage, I support Bush, I hate anything that remotely might in some way say the name Clinton be it Hillary or Bill, I support the war, I AM A CHRISTIAN, I could go on and on, but those are the major things... well I still think that Courtney did it. ;P... Anyway, joking aside, I always feel like those are a mark against me with her and to be truthful they are and probably will be with many of you. I would like to ask that if you feel the need to flame me for any of those reasons that you would respectfully remove yourself from my friendslist so we can both not wast our time on each other, Okay?
I'm not really sure if Brittany and Lindsay will ever be friends again. If they are it will never be the same. I can say that with quite a bit of confidence. It's sad really for a friendship to end over such a small comment that turned in to the proverbial fire storm. In a way it's not though... I don't feel bad I have no reason to. I am not the one that made the comments, nor am I the one who allowed them to continue. I am sad, however, because one of my closest friend/ family member and my best friend ended up hurt badly. All because some preppy-assed bitches couldn't keep their filthy mouths to themselves.
It is really hard to say that I feel bad for Brittany because I know she brought this on herself. If she hadn't worried about upsetting those people she calls friends she might have put them in their place and told them off. If she truly knew Lindsay she would have known how she would have reacted (nicely and happily are some of the furthest words from mind) and she would have tried to set things straight with her and been straight forward with her and talked to her about those comments made. I'm pretty sure all linds had wanted was some reassurance that Brittany care and then she had to find out on her own. It sad really. I feel so bad for Linds, but she seems to be getting along well, all considering. I do feel bad for Britt in the respect she just alienated one of the greatest people I have ever meet... and I've meet quite a few. Linds is one of the people I'd be especially proud to call a very good friend of mine. :)
Brittany if you are reading this, as you undoubtedly are, I want you to know this is not and attack, it is not meant to hurt, and it certainly isn't meant to offend you. As I've said before this journal is for me. There is a reason I write here and it certainly doesn't involve the feelings of others. Everyone her does or should know this.
Lindsay If you are reading this I hope you are well and still feel loved.
Both of you I love you dearly and I hope you will be alright sometime soon. ♥
This was for me I needed to say it's been teeming in my brain all week and I felt like I had let it go for far to long as it was. I just kept putting it off hoping the feelings would fade and they did, but not in the way they usually do. So, I was forced to write it and it feels as though it had just happened a few minutes ago and Lindsay is freaking out as she's telling me about it. I wish it was batter. I wish it never happened, One has got to realize though, it will never be better and you can' take back words or actions. Retractions be damned. You said it and now you have to live with the consequences. Don't try and smooth it over with words. It rarely ever works anyway. The first thing you say is almost always the truth and it will always be as you are seen in other peoples eyes. Be careful about what you say about your friends.
This has turned out quite long... I'm sorry my flisters, but you know how much I hate cuts.
Next post: The Replies To Their Snarky Comments! ::cue anticipatory music:: *dun dun dun*
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| Give Me Something... Give Me Something... REAL! |
[10 Mar 2006|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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let's get it started in here |
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Snagged from Vanessa.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.comSo in other words I am a workaholic, control freak, that never wants to grow up, who also just happens to be an anarchist that likes to dominate people, and feels the need for security, who is avoidant, though conflict seeking in nature, but has no sexuality, nor vanity and who also is lacking in any romantic tendencies? ... Yup sounds just about right ... Paradox ain't I? Was quite a bit fun though so you should try it. :) I didn't quite agree with the conclusions at the end but the chart matches quite well.
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| Beyond And Through All Time I Stand. |
[07 Mar 2006|03:36pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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<td align="center">You are 61% Emo
You are pretty Emo. You like the music, styles and way of life but it doesn’t really control your life. There is more to you than just another cute Emo face.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
Pretty true.
hehe that's funny
<td align="center">You are Draco Malfoy.
You have hated Harry since meeting him, because he doesn’t share your views about Mudbloods. You are not really evil though, just proud and trying to save your family from the wrath of Voldemort.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
HAHA! That's from like when he was reeeeeaaaalllly young! :) So adorable.
All-Around Smart
You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain.
20% theoretical intelligence
20% natural intelligence
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
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Why, thank you. I'd like to believe so.
The Picto-Personality Test
You are a person who lives in the moment and is passionate about whatever and whoever you love.
When alone, you like to spend your time doing something that will better yourself.
You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you.
In the future you will be wise and healthy.
| | Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com |
This one was the hardest, but the best I enjoied it muchly.
<td align="center">
Kantian Ethics
You should consider the universal law whenever making an ethical decision, asking yourself if it would be o.k. if everyone did what you plan to do. If the answer is no then it is unethical according to Kantian Ethics.
<table width="300" style="border: 1px solid grey;">
| How you scored, compared to others taking this quiz: |
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| You |
| Other Quiz Takers |
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| Judeo-Christian | 
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| Utilitarianism |
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| Kantian Ethics |
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| Ethical Egoism |
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| Ancient Greek Ethics |
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'What ethical system do you fit in with?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td></table>
That's about right.
Your sanity is in Tahiti!
Wow, go you! Your sanity--and by extension,
you--get to stay on permanent vacay...just
remember to keep the Bahama Mamas to a
minimum...
Where has your sanity gone to?
brought to you by Quizilla
lolz
The Gladius- You're balenced. This weapon can be
used defensively, or it can deliver a
devastating blow. Your style always changes
with each opponent you fight.
What Weapon Would You Use?(Pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
yay a sword!!
<td>
<table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000">
| Human Warlock |
 
Humans tend to be the ones in the middle. Not as sexy as the Night Elves; not as stumpy as the dwarves or gnomes. As a human, you pretty much go with the flow of things.
You're a creepy, creepy warlock. You delight in the darker things in life - such as setting people on fire, and delight in the macabre. You'd probably fake your own death just to freak people out by getting up from the casket at your funeral.
|
| Find out your real-life WoW race and class at QuizGalaxy.com |
</td>
</table>
Haha.
All right. I'm just doing this to avoid actual posting because it's all gonna come out in one big rush and I don't feel like it now... maybe an entry later though.
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| End of hope, End of love, End of time. The rest is silence. |
[05 Mar 2006|03:36pm] |
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mood |
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watching the stars die |
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Stolen from Liz... that girl has the best surveys
This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or innocent. Guilty if you have, innocent if you haven't. Re-post and see what others have or have not done!
G= guilty I=innocent
Singing in the shower?: G
Spit in someone's Drink?: I
Played with Barbies?: G :(
Made someone cry?: G
Been depressed?: G
Opened your Christmas presents early?: G
Lied to a friend?: G
Lied to a parent?: G
Broken a bone?: I
Had surgery?: G
Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?: I
Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours: I
Ran through the sprinklers?: I
Ran through the sprinklers naked?: I
Went outside naked?: I
Wished you were someone else?: G
Flashed somebody?: G
Mooned somebody?: I
Been on stage?: G
Been on stage naked or close to it?: I
Been in a parade?: G
Been in a school play: I
Tasted Beer?: I
Gotten detention?: I
Gotten ISS/saturday school/expelled?:I
Been on a plane: G
Been on a cruise?: I
Cheated on a test?: G
Broken into a house?: G (My own... and something that wasn't a house)
Gotten a tattoo?: I
Gotten piercings?: G
Gotten into a fist fight?: G
Gotten into a shouting match?: G
Swallowed sea/pool water?: G
Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: G
Laughed so hard it hurt?: G
Had a crush on a best friend?: I
Have a secret you have never shared?: G
Fell down a whole flight of stairs?: G
Tripped on your own feet?: G
Cried yourself to sleep?: G
Cried in public?: G
Thrown up in public?: I
Skipped class?: I
Cried so hard you threw up?: I
Skinny dipped: I
Skydived: I
Fallen In Love: I
Gotten jealous: G
Screamed so loud you turned red: G
Burned an ant with a magnefying glass: I (i want to though)
Had a threesome: I
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| Hit me again I ain't dead yet. |
[05 Mar 2006|01:24pm] |
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mood |
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 Just fuck off and die |
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10 People I’m (very) Fond Of:
-Lindsay
(No particular order from here on)
-Brittany
-Tommy
-Courtney
-Brenda
-Steve... (haven't talked in like a month, but he e-mailed me today!!!)
-Dad
-Katie
-Davonna
-Colby
9 People I’m (very) UNfond Of:
-A friend who made a really insulting homophobic comment... actually any homophobe in that case.
-Andrea. She was a little bitchy said I was listening to satanic music and that it was "bad for me." Then proceded to tell me how religious she was and couldn't listen to horrible stuff like that and not feel dirty.
1.) The band is not satanic (Nightwish)... looked up the lyrics when I
got home and read the whole fucking cd. She said it said 'demons'
and I like 99.999% sure that it didn't. Well now I know for sure
that it doesn't.
2.) She's a fucking hypocrite. She has a kid and she's only 17. She's
living with a guy who she's not married to. The other day she told
me she hated all gay people. Hate the sin not the sinner, asshole. I
guess my fater was right, "The bigger the guilt the more apealing,
the religion, you get more sinners who make bigger zealots"
-Mom. We had a bit of a tiff and once again I'm the one that feels like I did something wrong... Damn reverse psycology because it works ever time she uses it on me and I fee like I should pitty her insted.
-Tim
-Spencer
-Fred
-Buddy
-Mr. Killjoy... oops I mean Killmyer.
-Mr Beck
8 Favorite Songs (at the moment):
-End Of All Hope- Nightwish
-Slaying The Dreamer- Nightwish
-Terricotta Pie- System Of A Down
-She's Like Heroine- System Of A Down
-Weathered Tome/ Last Kiss- AFI (depends on which title you go by)
-Rolling Balls- AFI
-Join Me In Death- HIM
-Gone With The Sin- HIM
7 Favorite Movies:
-All Harry Potter movies
-All Lord of the Rings movies
-The Secret Garden
-A Little Princess (Warner bros. version)
-Pirates Of The Caribbean
-Bend It Like Beckham
-Tristan and Isolde
6 Worst Moments of My Life:
-One that I doubt I will ever tell anyone about.
-When mom accused me of being a lesbian.
-The whold cheerleading fiasco.
-When someone threatend to kill my family. Bastard, burnin hell.
-When Dad broke his back and Brittany tried to console me in the worst way ever and only succeded in making it worse. I still love her though, it was years ago.
-When mom almost died. I may fight with her but I still love her.
*~*I would say when I amost died and the doctors had no clue why... but it wasn't bad just... different.*~*
5 Movies I Wish I’d Never Watched:
-Lost In TRanslation (How many ways can you say sucked).
-Zoolander (couldn't even sit through the first 15 minutes).
-The Generals Daughter. (I was like 10 and I had rape dreams for a year... and sometimes still do).
-The Green Mile (also horiffies me... electric chair and no wet sponge... enough said).
-THE ISLAND!!!!! (I will never forgive you Brittany! lol).
4 Favorite Books:
-The Vampire Chronicles and all Lestat books by Anne Rice.
-The Harry Potter Series
-Any Tami Hoage book... especially A Thin Dark Line.
-Any Particia Cornwell book... especially the Dr. Scarpetta series
3 Things I’m Good At:
-Writing
-Rifle
-Sarcasm... not sure if that really counts.
2 Things I Want to Change About Myself:
-... can I say everything...
-... well almost everything...
1 Positive Thing About My Life:
-My friends
Went to Gunrunners, (I accedently typed 'rimmers' holyfuck! Took me almost a minute to stop laughing. That would so not have shown up on spell check!), yeaterday to check out gun. Very cool sword sittin' in the corner and I wanted it muchly. So daddy dearest asks the price and it was $250. He didn't want to pay that much for a sword, but George said he'd talk to the owner for me and see if he could get it for less. So yay! Also a very cool daggar that cost $100 that dad was eyeing up... I think he might buy that, too. lol. I told dad that I've always wanted a sword, but mom has never let me buy one because of Marlana. So *pouts* He did buy me movies yesteday though! I bought the warner bros. version of The Secret Garden and Labyrnth. The Secret Garden was just as I remembered it from when I was little, (my favourite movie), and Labrynth sucked ass. :) I think he was being really nice because I had a REALLY big fight with mom yesterday... Not pretty. We stayed in Gunrunners... typed in rimmers again. *rolls eyes* Must.Get.Head.Out.Of.Gutter. lol jk... Anyway stayed there almost 4 hours. Then we went to George's house. Met his... not wife... for the first time ever. She was... nice I guess.
Went to the movies with Britt. Brokeback Mountain was so not showing. ::cries:: So we went to see date movie... Lady who took our tickes didn't tell us which theatre it was showing in so we looked up at the screen and it said theatre 2. We went in we were likw 5 mins late and we sat down and about half way through I turn to Britt and say, "I think it was showing in 2 teatres." When she asked why I said because the thing didn't make any sense. So I pull out my ticket and sure enough it says theatre 5. Now you ask why I didn't look at the ticket to begin with you may ask. Well it was already in my purse. So I just didn't. So we watched a hour of that. Personally I didn't like it too much.
Fall Out Boy was an SNL and weeeellll. The vocals were great, but the music... not so great. Piss poor actually. They proformed Dance Dance. I usually like the song. :/
Not spell checked because my journal is once again behaving like a homosexual male.
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| I'm Nothing From Nowhere. I'm No One At All. |
[27 Feb 2006|05:36pm] |
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fuck |
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Well, today wasn’t so bad, I guess. I’m really sick and it hurts to breathe, but, well, life is… good, I guess. :) So far today I have had 2 cups of coffee and am starting on my 3rd as I sit here and type. Also I had some sort of almond type coffee thingy at lunch today. So I’m all hopped up on caffeine. Yes, life is good.
Today in Spanish, which I have 1st period, we had just said the pledge, (in Spanish none the less:/), and Senora said “Congratulations Jazmin.” I was all “Gee, thanks” *sheepishly* Colby goes, “So you guys won!” I was like “Huh?” He says, “The team won a match.” I was like, “…Um, no.” Then Colby being Colby goes, “So then you had a baby!?!” Me; *deadpan* “Yes, Colby I had a baby over the weekend.” Him; “Really? Cool! That was the quickest conception and birth ever!” Mean while I was lol as was the other 4 guys in the class and he was all, “So, what really happened? No, seriously come on tell meeee. Pleeeeeaaaseee?!” So I told him the truth: That I had won 6th at states for rifle and that is what Senora was talking about. Not my unnaturally fast pregnancy. *smirk*
Brittany and I are going to the movies on Thursday! We are going to go see Brokeback Mountain! Yay, excited, I am! :D I'm 17 so, I just hope the teller doesn't try and card us or Britt won't be able to get in... she'll just have to lie and say she's 17, doesn't have a permit, or a license, and was born in 1988. :) I'm sure that will go over well. *rolls eyes* Either way we are going to go see it. Yes, we are. :) Honestly I don't care what other people think because I kind of just had some problems with some people in school about stuff like this... so, yeah.
Also I bought Brittany's B-day gift a few weeks ago with Linds and since mom gave her money, (which she didn't tell em she was going to do until I went shopping for her other part of her gift), I didn't buy anything else so she's just getting the one thing... I hope she likes it. *is anxious*
Rifle tonight... I so don't want to go... only because I'm sick. No other reasons. I just don't feel that well at all. :(
I really loathe my sister. Really I do. She's sitting here criticizing me on how I give out too much information over the internet. Shes 12 for christ sake. I hate her. She's a right fucking bitch when she wants to be. It's gotten to the the point where I don't even want to be around her at all because she makes me sick as a human being. She's horrible. I don't understand how we can be so different. I realize I am a bitch, but she's a cruel, cold hearted, fucking evil, cock-sucking, bitch! And you know what when I am around her all I can think about doing is pounding her face in because she's just a horrible person. And you know what if this makes me a bad person I don't care because I take enough shit from everyone else I don't need it from my little sister. It hurts. It really does. I really don't think she realizes how much she hurts me and how much I really don't like her. As a human being and as a person.
I'm upset again. And to think I was actually happy when I started writing this... Never mind what I said. Life sucks and it sucks hard. I just try not to get stuck in the whirlpool. ;-;
|
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| Shoot the groundhog. ::GRR:: More winter my ass. |
[26 Feb 2006|06:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 *sigh* |
] |
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Jasmine
Birthday: August 10
Birthplace: Pittsburgh
Current Location: a room on a chair...
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: blonde/light brown
Height: 5'1"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Italian... Dutch/Irish/Scottish... and a few other various anomalies.
The Shoes You Wore Today: I went all-natural... no shoes for me. :)
Your Weakness: No weaknesses. I am perfection, damn it!
Your Fears: Preps... oh, God... the preps.
Your Perfect Pizza: Um... the kind you can eat... preferably warm.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Become a whore... haha
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: haha... lol... hehe...
Thoughts First Waking Up: No, I will NOT wake up at this unholy hour! Oh, it's already 3, heh.
Your Best Physical Feature: My lips or nose... at least they don't scream 'I'm ugly'.
Your Bedtime: Don't need sleep... I am God.
Your Most Missed Memory: Innocence.
Pepsi or Coke: COKE!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: neither
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Um... Both. I refuse to chose.
Do you Smoke: Ew, no. never. Disgusting.
Do you Swear: of course, it would be unethical not to... :P
Do you Sing: No, wait... yes. :)
Do you Shower Daily: Um, yeah... it's icky not to.
Have you Been in Love: Nope... In lust? Yes. In love? No.
Do you want to go to College: Nope I already told you I want to be a whore... ;P jk
Do you want to get Married: Yup, I don't want to be alone. This by no means says that I am desperate or want to be married immediately. I just don't want to be alone forever. Mmkays?
Do you believe in yourself: Um, I believe in a lot of things... so please define 'believe'... but yes I do.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.
Do you think you are Attractive: Nope
Are you a Health Freak: hehehehehehehe that's funny. Really! It is.
Do you get along with your Parents: Not really. :/
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes. :)
Do you play an Instrument: Sax... haven't played in a while though...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Ew, no. Icky.
In the past month have you Smoked: Also, icky.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Once again, icky.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope
In the past month have you been on Stage: ... No ...
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: GOD NO!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Maybe... but I can't really remember... it wasn't on purpose. :l
Ever been called a Tease: Yeah, Idungeit.
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: what kind of question is that? Well no.
How do you want to Die: refer to these songs... AFI- The Great Disappointment... AFI- A Winters Tale... You will understand.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A whore (we've already established that fact....)
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue, Black, Brown, Silver, Green, depends on the guy.
Favourite Hair Color: dark, light, who cares?
Short or Long Hair: long
Height: taller than me
Weight: not like overly fat, ok? ok
Best Clothing Style: *smirk* Goth... Rocker... Punk... not the norm. ;)
Number of Drugs I have taken: um over the counter stuff basically covers it.
Number of CDs I own: like 100... ones I actually listen to though... like 35 or so.
Number of Piercings: 2 one in each ear.
Number of Tattoos: my whole body is tattooed...you just can't tell... jk none. And I will never have any ;-;
Number of things in my Past I Regret: You expect me to list them all here? lol jk. I don't really believe in regretting things... they just happen and you have to move on. You've did it and you can't change it. So, live with it.
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| Look What You've Done To Me Now. You've Made Me Perfect. |
[18 Feb 2006|09:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Well that's a change... |
] |
OH.MY.GOD. Look at what Davey did to his beautiful hair...!!! Look at it! WTF?! Well... it doesn't look so bad... I guess, but I loved his long hair... and at least he dyed it back to black instead of his ugly blonde roots. So, Minor victory... at least he still looks hot. :D But, uh, Hunter? What the hell, man? Pfft, whatever. 3 out of 4 aitn't bad right? :P
Picture stolen from http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=24138033
On a happier not my text color is back! :)
Busy Busy Busy....
*The*Good*
~~.~~ On Wednesday I had Mock Trial and we won. :)
~~.~~ On said Wednesday I got best witness. :D
~~.~~ On Thursday I Had individuals for rifle. :)
~~.~~ On said Thursday I placed 5th with a 200- 19x... damn near perfect. :D Meaning I get to go to states on Wednesday. :)
~~.~~ I had to present my grad project Friday. I'm like 99.9999999% sure I passed with flying colors. So... yay! :D
~~.~~ Later Friday Jordan called me and he said that they (the defense part of mock trial team) had won on Thursday. Meaning that we have finals on Tuesday. :)
*The*Bad*
~~.~~ One of my friends had a friend who just committed suicide. She's taking it pretty hard. ;-; I hope she's alright soon. I know what it feels like your best friend dies. :(
~~.~~ One of my cousin's friend's, Aunt's best friends son, and other various friends friend was just stabbed to death about a week ago. No one knows who did it or why. Everyone is taking it pretty hard. ;-;
~~.~~ Shot like crap today. :/ Oh well nothing I can do about it now.
~~.~~ A friends interested in being more than friends... I'm not... I think of him like I do more like... Brenda or Lindsay... So... yeah. :(
|
|
| Baby Join Me In Death |
[07 Feb 2006|11:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
back off bitch! |
] |
Every time I look at my new background I smile.
Mom's annoying me now so I'm gonna' go 'cos she killed my mood. Grr. And is making me violent.
♥ you all
|
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| Let's Walk Through The Feilds Before Death Takes Me. |
[07 Feb 2006|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
strung out |
] |
I have been a bad friend ... ;-;
I have not been commenting ... or ... replying to comments ... In quite some time ... I need to start doing that ... I feel bad ... Oh, well.
Oh, By the way that ^ song up there is teh awesome so if you haven't heard it check it out. :)
|
|
| A show of hands, who wants to die? |
[05 Feb 2006|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
oh, snap! |
] |
Put x's in the boxes that apply to you and count up your score to see how girly you are.
[ ] you love anything that glitters and sparkles
[ ] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[ ] during the summer pretty much the only shoes i wear are flip flops
[ ] the only reason i go to school is for the boys!
[ ] my favorite toy as a child were barbies and dolls
[ ] my favorite collor is pink or purple
[X] when i was young i danced ballet
[ ] i love skirts!
[ ] hollister is my favorite place to shop
[X] tight jeans
[ ] i love chocolate
[ ] i've never had a real job
[X] my hair is straightened or scrunched and worn down like every day
[ ] i am on AIM atleast 5 hours a day
[ ] i have at least 8 myspace pictures
[X] i usually go shopping once a week
[X] i love to hang out at the mall with friends
[ ] i have a real diamond ring or diamond earrings
[ ] i've had atleast 10 boyfriends
[ ] i've gone to a tanning salon
[ ] i go to the beach to tan - not to swim
[ ] i have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[ ] i watch either the OC or Laguna Beach religiously
[X] i flirt.
[ ] i change my icon weekly
[ ] i would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic
[ ] my cell phone might as well become a part of me
[ ] wear eye liner, mascara, or cover up
[ ] i've been or am on a diet
[ ] bathing suits are adorable!
[ ] i dont know the difference between a sheep and a goat
[ ] big sunglasses are hott
[X] i have gotten my nails done
[ ] i own over 10 purses
[ ] MTV is my favorite channel
[ ] all i want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys, boys and more boys
[ ] i love to have other girls do my hair and make-up
[ ] i dont understand how people can like Fall Out Boy, From First to Last, System of a down, and all of those other sucky bands! they suck out loud!!omgz.
[X] i love to give and recieve hugs
[ ] i hate bugs
[ ] carnivals are very fun
[ ] summer is THE best season
[ ] i am self-concious
[X] i cry often
[ ] i dont do sports...
[ ] i HATE to run
[X] i squeal when i am suprised or angry
[ ] i dance allll the time
[ ] i usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house
[ ] i only have like 5 billion hair products
[ ] preps are the best guys : )
[ ] i love to get dressed up
[ ] every part of my outfit needs to match
[ ] i talk on the phone atleast once a day to my friends
[ ] i would love to have a photo shoot of myself
[ ] one of my myspace pictures is of me making a kissy face
[ ] price on clothes hardly matters
[ ] i apply lip gloss 200 times a day
[ ] i wish i was a model/actress
[ ] i wish i could meet Paris Hilton
[ ] i have been something that was semi slutty on halloween
[ ] own Uggs...
[ ] Pop is the best music
[ ] i pop my collar
[ ] i like to be the center of attention
[ ] guys with mohawks are crazy
[ ] horses are beautiful but i would never ride one
[ ] i'd rather not pay attention in school - i'd rather talk
[ ] i've gotten detention for talking
[ ] cats are adorable
[ ] tall dark and handsome are the only guys i look for
[ ] Old Navy is like a K-Mart
[X] i write poems or my own music
[ ] i love it when a guy wears good smelling cologne
[X] i can get very jealous
[ ] i would love to visit Hawaii
[ ] Valentines day is so cute! and its definitely not just a way to make money!
[ ] white is better then black
[ ] i wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[X] my closet is STOCK FULL of clothes
[X] i hate the grunge look of a beard - must be clean cut
[ ] i love to read gossip magazines
[ ] i love to gossip! (but hate the effects)
[X] my friends and i are in a strict group. we mostly only hang out with each other
[ ] old ladies are adorable
[ ] i LOVE kids
[ ] i'm all about being vegetarian
[ ] i refuse to eat at McDonalds
[ ] i check my myspace everyday
[ ] i LOVE life!
[X] i have a lot of jewlery
[ ] claires has cheap jewlery
[X] my screen names have x's in them
[ ] my myspace name has a ? in it
[ ] i love doing yoga
17% girly. lol. So sad. :P
|
|
| I fell into yesterday. Our dreams seemed not far away. I want to, I want to, I want to stay. |
[05 Feb 2006|07:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
letsgoletsgoletsgo!!! XD |
] |
Um... NEW LAYOUT! So... YAY!!! I love it!! :P
Mom's doing better... I'm happier
I went shopping with Lindsay and Brittany today. :D Aaaaaand we went to Sarris Candy... OMG so much chocolate... which I didn't get... I had icecream instead. Went to the mall after wards... bought a book and a HIM cd. So... Yay, again.
I have homework... I don't think I'm going to do it tonight though.
Oh, I almost forgot! Had a match at Alexandria on Saturday and I shot a 393... Buuuut the team, who consisted of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) u_fuckin_suck (Tommy), riflenerd (Liz), Adam, and myself tied the National record of a 1580! So, Yay once more. :)
Survey stolen from riflenerd
--DRAMA DORK--
[ ] Ever been in a play?
[ ] More than 10 Broadway shows?
[ ]Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[ ] Want to end up working in/for theater
[ ] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[X] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!
Total [1]
--REDNECK--
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[X] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[X] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[X] Do you like to get dirty in mud?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your backyard?
[X] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[X] Do you live on more then 1 acre?
[X] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
Total [6]
--GOTH--
[X] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[X] Is most of your clothing dark?
[ ] Do you think about death?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[X] Are you a social outcast?
[X] Are you pale?
[X] Do you like Hot Topic?
[X] Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
[X] Are you mean sometimes?
Total [7]
--SKATER/PUNK--
[ ] Can you skateboard?
[ ] Do you wear Vans/Emerica/Etnies/any skate shoe?
[X] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[X] Do you watch the x-games?
[X] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] You wear a mohawk?
[X] Do you wear Band T-shirts
[X]Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total [5]
--PREP--
[X] Do you say the word "like"?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch
[ ] Do you pop the collar?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Is the only nerd you like Seth Cohen?
[ ] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] Do you like pop music?
[ ] Do you have a dog?
Total [1]
--HIPPIE--
[X] Is your hair long?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[ ] Do You want to save the animals?
[ ] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[X] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total [2]
--GANGSTA--
[ ]Do you act ghetto?
[ ] Do you wear do-rags?
[ ] Do you like hip-hop?
[ ] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[ ] Do you like afro's?
[ ] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[X] Do you like to dance?
[ ] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total [1]
--EMO--
[X] Do you cry often?
[X] Do you wear hoodies?
[X] Do you like soft music?
[X] Do people not understand you?
[X] Do you write your own poems?
[X] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut your own hair?
[X] Are you lonely?
[X] is Hawthorne Heights a good band?
Total [8]
--SURFER--
[ ] Do you surf?
[ ] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[ ] Do you own many pairs of shorts?
[ ] Do you yearn for the smell of salt water?
[ ] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[ ] Do you hate tourists?
Total [0]
--GEEK-
[ ]Do you wear glasses?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler?
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[X] Are you on the computer often?
[ ] Do you ever get picked on?
[X] do you look foward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[X] Do you play video games?
Total [3]
--JOCK--
[ ] Do you own alot of nike, addidas, or underarmor?
[ ] Do you smell of fresh cut love the grass?
[ ] Are you constantly worrying about being in shape?
[ ] Do you let people know its game day by yelling it throught the halls?
[ ] Do you play 2 or more sports?
[X] You know a lot of people just from playing a team sport?
[X] You love grass stains, mud, and hurting people
[ ] A whistle blowing pumps your addrenalin
[ ] Are you very school spirited?
Total [2]
Lol I guess I'm EMO! Sorry Liz, don't hate me and my stupid song writing. :P
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